Jason and I have been married for almost four years, which is crazy! Over those four years, I have learned how to be an encouraging wife and support my husband through the good and bad times. Now four years is not that long, and it’s not like I have a ton of wisdom, but I have found that these key points below have been helpful in our marriage. No marriage is perfect, but let me tell you, being married is the best! Being a wife is such a gift!
I never knew my heart could love someone this much and the crazy part is, my love for my husband grows more everyday.
- Circle Your Husband In Prayer– Being a wife is so special because you have the opportunity to pray circles over your husband. Godly men are lacking in today’s world, and evil is out to get them. It’s a spiritual battle every day. I am not saying women don’t have spiritual battles, you can read more about battles on my post, Scars are Beautiful, but I have grown up to realize the battle that men face. As a wife, I get to circle my husband everyday in prayer. There is no greater gift than to talk to the King of Kings about my hubby. It’s been so fun to watch God work in Jason’s life as we grow older. Jason and I started dating at 18 years old, and in those 9 years, we have really changed. You change a lot when you go from being a teenager to your mid/late twenties. Over those years, it’s been special to watch God answer my prayers and the prayers that I keep circling my husband with.
- Support His Goals– Jason is a dreamer, which is what I LOVE about him. He not only dreams, but he goes after those dreams and makes them a reality. He encourages me to follow mine as well. Since the moment I met Jason, he never wanted to be tied to a desk. His personality and gifts are not meant for the 8am-5pm job. After we got married, Jason took a job that was 8am-5pm. He supported our little family, and never complained. Over these four years, we have prayed circles over his job, and in the last 3 months, God has opened some big doors. It has been such an answer to prayer! As Jason’s wife, I get to walk beside him on this crazy journey. We get to celebrate the good moments, and support each other during the bad. But no matter what we celebrate everyday because we have each other.
- Honor and Respect Your Husband– It is said, that honor and respect is the number one need for men. I believe this to be very true. In Ephesians 5:33 Paul writes, “let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” In addition to his command toward men, Paul says a wife should respect her husband. Men like to be respected, that is just part of their love language. Ways you can show respect as a wife are speaking well of your husband to others, looking for opportunities to encourage him and build him up, not speaking down to him or nagging him, and also making decisions together as a couple. For example, don’t tell him that you made plans already with your family without speaking to him first. Show respect and include him in everything. I find this to be so helpful for Jason and I. We are a team.
- Listen– Us ladies like to talk a lot and interrupt, but men like to be listened too. They don’t like us finishing their sentences for them (guilty). Give your husband your full attention when he’s sharing his thoughts and feelings with you. Let him know that you’re genuinely interested by asking questions and being present. Being present in todays society is hard as well, with cell phones and all the other distractions we have. Be present and listen, he will also do the same for you.
- Intimacy– Yes, I am going there! Don’t worry, it is going to be G rated. Our husbands are sexual creatures made in the image of God. I’m not surprised that this gift which God intended to use as a means to draw husbands and wives closer, Satan twists to drive them apart. As a wife, you should never hold this against your man or punish him with it if you are mad at him. I have learned as a wife how important intimacy is with your husband. You can read more about our journey and thoughts on purity and sex here at Our Perspective on Purity and Sex from a Young Christian Couple. God made it to be so beautiful, so don’t let Satan get in-between or make you think differently. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 states, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
Being a wife and getting to support Jason is such a gift. As Jason and I strive to support each other, we know we can’t fulfill each others needs completly. We are imperfect human beings, and there are days we disappoint each other. We are reminded everyday that the center of our marriage needs to be Christ. With Him there is hope and forgiveness, and a whole lot of fun!